From the Trenches
by Mousie
Summary: Spoof/cliche: Yet another ani-author war story


Mousie pushed her helmet back and watched as Bob ran towards the command tent. 

"Stupid war," she muttered as she quickly ducked down behind the barricade. After the shots stopped hitting the wall sheltering her she carefully lifted her head, nothing. 

Good, they were probably reloading, she thought. She quickly raised her rifle and aimed at a figure poking up. With a pull of the trigger whoever it was disappeared, no doubt suffering a severe case of writer's block.

Then Mousie quickly crouched back behind the wall as the firing began again. She squinted down the trench and saw Utahraptor moving down her way. She crouched down next to Mousie, wiping her forehead. 

"How's it going?" She asked, yelling over the noise. 

"As well as can be expected." Mousie replied loudly. Utahraptor nodded and began to reload her rifle. 

"I wonder if it'll ever be the same, after this is all done." She said. 

"I doubt it and it doesn't look to good anyway. Authors are dropping left and right." Mousie answered. 

"I know, last I heard we lost Bob Elder and Forlay both, who knows who's next." Utahraptor told her. 

"Damn, do you know who is in command now?" Mousie asked. 

"No idea, it seems many are breaking up into smaller groups, like companies." Utahraptor informed her. 

"The ranks are thinning, we wont be able to hold out much longer." She said. 

"I know, and I've heard that the spammers are beginning to circle, we've already lost supplies to them." Utahraptor said. Mousie cursed. 

"Why don't you take over here? I'm going to check down the ranks." Mousie said. Utahraptor nodded and moved in to take her place. 

"Good luck." She called at Mousie's retreating back. A few yards down Mousie spotted a drenched Christy. 

"How's it going?" She asked crouching next to the girl. 

"Okay, how did I even get involved in all this? You fanfic authors are all out for blood." She said grimly. 

"Yeah, well you never know." Mousie said and continued on. She heard, and felt a huge booming. Close. She fell to the ground, splashing mud everywhere. 

"Dammit, just my luck. I was actually hoping to get a little cleaner." She cursed. 

"Sounds like they're bringing out the big guns." Someone commented, Pinto. 

"I thought they already did." Mousie said. "How much bigger can they get?" She commented, wiping muddy pieces of hair out of her face. 

"Who knows, maybe big enough to send us all home at once." Pinto said. 

"Yeah, home is actually starting to sound appealing." Mousie replied. Pinto nodded and looked back to the battlefield. Mousie pulled herself out of the puddle and moved on down the ranks until she spotted three unknown figures sneaking out of a supply tent carrying what looked like large crates of patience, sanity, and creativity. They must be the spammers Utah had warned her about. 

"Dammit! We have little enough of that as it is." She grumbled and drew closer. She took her gun off her shoulder and replaced the writer's block bullets with the special edition, anti-spammer ammo. 

"Spammers!" She yelled, getting then in her sight. "Stop!" They froze and looked at her. She heard two troops coming up behind her. 

"Spammers." One of them said in a disgusted tone. "Just like them to hit us in a time like this." Mousie nodded grimly, keeping the spammers in her sight. 

"What are you going to do to us?" One of them smirked. 

"You Suck! HAHA!!" One of them yelled. 

"They're barely even sentient." An author behind her said. 

"I know, I think we should take them to the blue tent." Mousie said. "What about you?" 

"I agree, its just what they need." He said. "Put down those crates!" After a moment they set the crates down and Mousie and the two authors apprehended them. The three of them dragged the spammers to the tent. A few minutes later they emerged with satisfied grins on their face. 

"They dare to spam wonderful, beautiful fics and call them terrible?" Mouse said. "We'll show them bad fics." She said as they listened to the spammers cries for mercy as they were forced to read some of the worst fics on the net. 

"Sounds like its picking up again. Better get back to the front." One of the anonymous authors said. Mousie nodded and adjusted her helmet then headed back to the trenches. She once again sheltered herself behind a sandbag barricade. In the dim, rainy light she could glimpse figures running towards them. 

"Here they come!" She yelled. 

"Who?" Someone cried. "Authors from the other side! Duh!" Someone answered. Mousie hoisted her rifle and pointed it at them. 

"Remember your training!" She yelled. 

"What training?" Pinto yelled from a few feet down. Mousie fired a shot and then all of a sudden she awoke at her computer. Her cat looked at her sleepily. 

"Guess they finally got me Toadie," She said, scratching his head affectionately. "Well, at least I am back her with you, and if my brain freeze is any indication I wont be writing for a while." She said and he began to purr. He froze then, as he saw a gecko on the far wall, with a yowl he leapt up and ran to it, scratching the wall and meowing plaintively for it to come down. 

"Did you do the dishes?" Her mom yelled in. 

"I'm so unappreciated." Mousie sighed. 


End file.
